uk car jokes

UK Car Jokes

Cheesy Jokes Indeed

I've got a two tone car ............ Black and Rust.

A car I owned was so old and dilapidated someone had scrawled on it "Rust In Peace."

I once owned a car designed for 12 people, ........... 1 drove and the other 11 took turns pushing it.

Motorist is accused of speeding.

JUDGE: Why are you so sure you where only doing 15 miles per hour.

ACCUSED: Because I was going to the Dentist.

Andy is selling a Car for 900 pounds, his mate Mick tells him he will buy it for 10% less, Andys not to good with figures so he tells mick he will think about it.

Later that evening in his local Pub Andy still cant work out the Math, so he asks the barmaid,

If I offered you 900 pounds less 10% what would you take off.

The Barmaid hesitates and then replys

Everything apart from my Ear-rings

Definition: Motorist : One who keeps Pedestrians in good running order

Pedestrian: A man who has found a place to park his car

Policeman to jay walking pedestrian "Here! Why are you crossing the road in this dangerous spot-can't you see there's a zebra crossing only 50 yards away" The pedestrian replied "Well, I hope it's having better luck than I am!"