UK Car Jokes

 

Quotes and Tall Tales


Simon Taylor on Stirling Moss' mastery of the Le Mans-type start:

He always took up a sprinter's crouch and was usually first to his car - but on one occasion Mike Hawthorn,  wound him (Moss) up, Stirling started early and was halfway across the road when the flag fell. Into the silence came Moss' enraged shout: "You bastard, Hawthorn!" This so delighted Hawthorn that he collapsed giggling in the middle of the track, and was nearly run over as the race got under way.


If you want to go really fast in a big Healey, a drop of whisky always helped.

Timo Makinen


Aerodynamics are for people who cannot build engines.

Enzo Ferrari


Nothing good has ever been reported about the full rotation of a race car about either its pitch or roll axis.

Carroll Smith


Carburetor is a French word meaning 'leave it alone'.

Dick O'Kane


...make the suspension adjustable and they will adjust it wrong -- look what they can do to a Weber carburetor in just a few moments of stupidity with a screwdriver.

Colin Chapman


Horsepower sells cars, torque wins races!

Caroll Shelby


I build them to go, not to stop.

Ettore Bugatti upon criticism of poor braking performance in his race cars.


And the winner of the "Guess who's had a moment, then" award goes to Rich Taylor, for his book "Modern Classics" in which he says of the TVR Griffith:

There has never been a more dangerous production vehicle.


All parts falling off this car are of the finest english workmanship.

Andy says he has this sticker on his Rover.


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