UK Car Jokes

Hit and Run Drivers

More Wacky Drivers
(Women Drivers are great, aren't they?)

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest possible words.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of it's intention.

I thought my window was down, but I found out it was closed when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windscreen into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road.
I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.
As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision so I could not see the other car.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front of me I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came from out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran him over.

I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.

And you wonder why it takes weeks, sometimes months to receive restitution from automobile insurance companies? It takes them that long to decipher what their clients are trying to tell them!