How do you upgrade a Yugo car?
A: Put in an engine.
A. "TRADE IT FOR A TRABBIE" (the late great Russian "people's car")
A. "PARK IT NEXT TO A PORTAJOHN.....AND LEAVE IT UNLOCKED"
A. "CRUSH IT AND USE IT FOR TRACTION BALLAST IN YOUR BIG DOG 4X4 PICKEMUP TRUCK"

Q: Why do Yugos have heated rear windows?
A: To keep your hands warm when you're pushing them.

Q: How do you make accelerate a Yugo from 0 to 100 km in 10 seconds?
A: Push it off the top of a cliff.

Q. What's the difference between a Yugo and the principal's office?
A. It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's
office.

Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Yugo user's manual?
A: The train & bus schedule.

A man goes to a parts garage:
Man: "Can I have a windshield wiper for a Yugo please?"
Parts man: "Yeah, that seems like a fair swap."

Q: What is the sport-version of Yugo?
A: The driver wears Nike shoes.

Q: What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill?
A: A miracle.

Q: What do you call two Yugos at the top of a hill?
A: A mirage.

Q: What do you call a Yugo with dual exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow

Q: How do you double the value of a Yugo?
A: Half fill it with gasoline!

Q: How do you make a Yugo look good?
A: Park it between two Mercs!

Q: What to you call a Yugo with brakes?
A: Customized.

Q: What do you have to do if your Yugo gets in the way of a swarm of killer
bees?
A: Stop pushing and take refuge into the car.

Q: What is the Yugo owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.

Q: What do you call a Yugo with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack.

Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster uphill?
A: Throw out the passenger.

Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.

Q: What do you call a Yugo with a flat tyre?
A: A write off.

STOP PRESS!!
Yugo has announced a new 16 Valve model for 1993.
8 in the engine, 8 in the radio.

- I can see you've got a new car - a Yugo!
- Yes, I won the second prize in a lottery.
- What was the first prize then?
- A fruit-basket!

Yugo will be introducing three new vehicles next year. They will have a moped called an "I Go". They will have a
4-door called a "We Go". They will also have a new station wagon called the "Y'all Go".

www.ukcar.com