UK CAR 
Used car review

Ford Capri

 

 

Go on admit it, you always wanted one of these!

If you are over 30 and don't agree with the above, then you are lying, "Go on admit it"

If your not over 30 please go check out the Capri spec page as seeing what you missed out on will only condemn you to a life of torment and misery!Behold the beauty of the beast

The Capri is a Ford icon, one which has stood the test of time better than the more recent XR cars and stands proud next to Fords other great cars, the GT40, the RS2000 and of course the Mexico.

There is no doubt that in its day it was the fastest car on the road, with  a superlative rear wheel drive chassis which allowed you to explore the F1 type handling. This is the car that invented the helping hand of  4 wheel steer long before Honda stole the idea.

Exotic looks  make the Capri a thing of beauty to behold.  Witness the length of the bulging bonnet hiding the fiery Ford power. See how it mocks the feline E-Type pussy with its macho stance and Desperate Dan square chin spoiler.

The Capri was born to be a great Sports Car. Just to make sure, it was based upon the highly successful racing car the Cortina, itself a car so great it only needed some bloke called Chapman to paint a green stripe on it to devastate the opposition.

Special equipment included:

RS Pessimistic Speedo

This always reads 15% on the slow side, allowing you to keep a straight face when pulled by the plod for speeding - the fact the ticket read 40 in a 30 when you know you where doing at least 50 is only because the Plod were driving the mighty 3 litre works vehicle with the same speedo.

F1 Adaptive Rear wing 

Not content with handling prowess streets ahead of the opposition, Ford engineers took the F1 rear wing and used it as a mere starting point in their pursuit of aerodynamic perfection.  By using special hi-tech pliable rubber, Ford  were able to create a rear wing which could change shape under the huge wind pressure created by the Capri's monstrous top speed.  This 20 years before those thieving Krauts at Porsche managed to achieve the same feat only by employing a computer.

Performance Enhancing F1 developed parts

With Chapmans  ground effect Ford - Lotus  dominating F1 it was only to be expected that Ford should take the Circuit racers best technology and put it in to the road racers. The black J.P.S badged Capri is therefore 10% quicker than all other Capri's.

Hypno-Chick Dice

No self-respecting street warrior could be seen without the factory fitted furry dice. These  carried Henry Fords personal "you will score" guarantee.

Genetically Engineered Leather

Ford engineers were able to combine the DNA of cows with the fossilised remains of sea creatures. A special petro-chemical process, not unlike that seen in Jurassic Park, was then used to create the sensuous leather-look steering wheel and gearknob.

More Clocks and Gauges than a Spaceshuttle

7 clocks were deriguer, any less and there is no-way to see just how healthy your car is.  Note how the eyeball vents are cleverly designed to look like clocks, just to create even more of an impression!  It's a well known fact that the number of clocks on your dash is a direct measurement of your manhood. (metaphorically speaking)

Superfluous Spares Backup

We all know Ford spares are cheap and available but in the Capri, repairs just aren't needed because this car is just so reliable. (If you see one broken down at the road side it is because it has been sabotaged by someone, possibly the girl friend of the owner in a fit of jealousy.)  Why, I know of a bloke who's done 190,000 miles in his car and not even changed the oil yet.

The Capri is the Worlds Most Practical Sports Car

Capable of seating 5 large rugby players in perfect comfort, the Capri combines the devastating looks and aerodynamics of Italian Exotica with the practicality of the hatchback.  Undoubtedly the first mass produced hatchback, the split rear seat folds to give the carrying capacity of a Volvo estate. All other manufactures have been paying homage ever since by copying the Capri's patent design. For those who needed more pampering than a bar of Imperial Leather could give, the Capri Ghia was the LAST word in luxury with its sunroof and electric windows, Roller-shaming velour trim and genuine plastic walnut.

Practicality is the Capri's strong suit. Ford wouldn't let their beloved customers get wet now would they, course not, not when the stylists can create such a fabulous invention as the vinyl roof, all the style of a soft top none of the worries, and 100% security to boot.

The Capri has a Proven track record

Whilst the Capri's film star looks opened many a producers door,  On the set this machines amazing capabilities and reputation carried many productions to undreamed of heights.

Where would Del an Rodney be without the luxury of the Capri Ghia to soothe away life's ups and downs?

Where would the professionals be without the handbrake turn prowess of the Capri?

Where would John Wayne be if the Capri hadn't have jumped Tower Bridge in McQue? In the Thames that's where ! 

Performance

CC MPH
1100 80
1300 88
1600 100
2000 110
3000 120
2.8 125

All figures + 15% (add a further 10% for JPS paintwork)

NB  1.1 & 1.3 were special economy versions built during the oil crisis and could do at least 50 mpg, whilst allowing it's proud owner to cruise in style.



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